2016. I often reflect on my past, so exploring early childhood was an inviting challenge in familiar territory. None of the memories I selected are stereotypical or “happy” memories; many substantially differ from standard childhood narratives. These four moments have stayed with me because of the trauma I associate with them. Recreating them has allowed me to relive them, & fixate on their trauma even more. As a colleague Nic Alexander so poignantly said: I love feeling bad about myself.
Each memory has been reconstructed in camera so that the viewer may experience the scene unfolding in front of them just as I remember them – through my eyes, my perspective.
d r o w n i n g
when i was 5, i almost drowned in the ocean.
my mother managed to pull me out from the inner-tube i was trapped under.
b i t t e n
in first grade, i was bitten by a classmate while we were both sitting on the floor.
f a l l i n g
in fourth grade, i was playing on the playground — as children do. i loved the monkey bars & i loved the single bars.
i always did flips. but this time my hands slipped.
& i hit my head.
f i r s t t o o t h
i didn’t want to lose my first tooth. i wanted it to stay in my mouth forever.
besides, i liked playing with it.
my mother didn’t like that.
she yanked it right out of my mouth.